The Self

I was with a friend recently who asserted that the most important relationship we have is our relationship with ourselves. I found these quotes on the subject and think they are both great.

‘All significant battles are waged within the self.’ Sheldon Kopp

‘That I feed the hungry, forgive an insult, and love my enemy – these are great virtues. But what if I should discover that the poorest of beggars and most impudent of offenders are all within me, and that I stand in need of the alms of my own kindness; that I myself am the enemy who must be loved – what then?’ C.G.Jung

When we live from the egoic self, we learn to feel bad and self-blaming for the difficult feelings that we harbour – anger, jealousy, hatred – so we bury them and project them on to someone else. We also suppress them because we fear that if we let them out, they will damage those around us and cause others to shun and reject us. We lose great energy by hiding this part of ourselves because it takes a lot of energy to hold these things at bay and bury them so we don’t have to own them.

This is why it is so important that we begin to look at our own murky depths and by so doing, liberate ourselves from that which has formed us in the past. We begin with ourselves. We need to give ourselves compassion. We need to start to like ourselves at least, if we cannot love ourselves. If the liking is difficult, then we need to look for aspects which we like. The harder this is, the more this is an indication that we have found our most valuable beginning in getting our life back on track. It begins with the Self, it begins with that courageous step in recognising that we just might need some help here. It begins with finding enough self-care within ourselves to think that such a journey might be worthwhile. It is the single most important journey any human being can make.